Oh, Twit!

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What’d you get?  What’d you get?  Me?  I got the watch.  And, not just any watch, I got a new Coach.  Wanna see?  Okay, too bad.  I’m sharing it anyways.

Ain’t she loverly?  Her name’s Madison.  She’s comfy.  And, she just so happens to perfectly match a set of bracelets and rings at the land of the robin’s egg blue boxes…some co-inky-dink, huh :)  Now, I wonder what I’ll be asking Pup to get me for Birthday/Christmas.  Hmmm. 

But, that actually wasn’t the best present I picked up this weekend.  I haven’t made it a big secret how much I love Twitter.  It’s great for keeping up with your bloggy compadres throughout the day.  It allows us all to “talk” amongst one another.  And, it provides a big time laugh now and again.  Yesterday afternoon into the night was one for the ages.  I laughed so much my stomach muscles hurt this morning, like they would’ve had I done some major crunches, and at one point, I literally fell off my bed I was laughing so hard.

After I bought Maddy (we’re on a first name basis, the watch and I), I checked in on what was happening with the peeps.  I happened upon Burgh mentioning my name.  Expecting a bit of sass about the loud-mouthed Texan, I guffawed when I saw she was saying I claimed to have a large ass.  A general discussion of larger than normal junk in the trunk occurred between Burgh, VDog, and Law School Hot Mom.  I got in a bit late, but I had to tell the lassies that anyone who has their own students sing Baby Got Back to her, has obviously been sporting some serious bootay.  Back-and-forth this went until I told VDog I was off to learn  The Harlem Shuffle  and then would video record my naked butt doing the moves….well after an exfoliation and facial. 

Then, last night happened.  The discussion continued.  To say we overran and monopolized Twitter would be an understatement.  I think we frightened everyone away.  In the words of Laskigal: burgh & aff have taken twittering to a whole new level . . .

Poor Vdog actually wasn’t around for the general hilarity, and I know she was bummed she missed out.  This was mostly between me, Burgh, Rocking Pony, Law School, and Shamelessly Sassy.  It was actually Sassy who threw down the gauntlet with: when are you gals going to quit talking smack and start this battle?   Followed by Burgh’s: Since I would take last place in the ass off, I volunteer to judge the festivities.  Burgh will decide!  Squee!  As the future wife of the judge, how could I not win? 

You know I am not in any way modest.  Showing off my butt to win the glory of knowing it’s the biggest is enough of an incentive to show it off.  I fumbled amidst the “normal” undies to find a naughty pair…and it had holes.  Screw it.  I’ve been married nine years.  The gals can see me in my granny panties.  I calmly walked into the kitchen and placed my Mr. Canon on the bar.  I struck a Marylin/Betty Boop pose with my finger on my lips and posed, with the tooshy covering 9/10 of the shot. 

Just then, Puppy walks in…oops.  “Holly, what the hell?  Are you taking porn pictures of yourself?  Damn!  This blog thing has gone TOO FAR!  And, hell.  That is NOT flattering!  Your ass looks HUGE! And, you better crop your head off of that.”  Hmm.  He thinks that’s unflattering?  Bingo!  Ding, ding, ding!  We’ve got a winner.  I went back and uploaded the shot.  I emailed it to the “participants.”

The reactions:

LSHM: Weird camera angles are NOT ALLOWED! My arse is still bigger.
Sassy: um..just got my email. hahahahaha.
Pony: My eyes! My virgin eyes!!! (This from a mom of 4)
Burgh: Oh my gawd. There’s a very giant ass in my email. Wow. Just wow.

So, then, Pony and LSHM also emailed their butts.  But, both Sassy and Burgh (nothing to do with our domestic partnership…wink wink) both said I won.  Yay.  I have a big butt and I cannot lie.  You other brothers can’t deny…and I told Burgh to make me a button for my win.  Guess what?  She SO did!  Love that Burgh!  So, ladies, my greatest gift was not Maddy, but this:

Happy Mother’s Day, girlies.  I hope you had as great of one as I did.  And, if you aren’t already, get thee to www.Twitter.com.

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Filed under A little Bling Bling, Don't Mess with the Bitch, I love the Puppy, I'm such a freakazoid, Staypuff Marshmallow Woman, You go girl, bloggy buddies